One Month

dear veda,
it's hard to believe an entire month has passed since the day you were born.... and yet at the same time, i can hardly imagine what life was like before you!! you have changed everything.. in the most beautiful and wonderful ways.. here are a few notes about what life has been like this past month:

from the first week, you have blessed us with smiles! and not just the i-passed-gas variety- but real, genuine i'm-happy smiles. when it's 2:00am and i'm exhausted and can't believe 3 hours have passed since you last ate, that little smile is like a miracle! you are particularly happy right after you have eaten (if you're not asleep), when you hear my voice or when you see your dad's face. everyone keeps telling us how rare it is for an infant as young as you to smile socially, so thank you.. those first few weeks can be challenging, to say the least- but a smile goes a long way...

you are also quite alert for a newborn. this last week you have started to really make and hold eye contact. you'll trace movements with your eyes as well. you have a strong neck and are always surprising us by holding it up and looking around. again, you seem very alert and curious. you are definitely not one of those newborns that just sleeps all the time ; ) you seem to like all types of music- which is good, because dad and i are trying to ensure that you are the type of baby that will sleep anywhere, no matter what is going on or how loud it is. plus, we want you to have good taste in music!

you're generally a pretty happy camper. usually you follow a pattern that goes something like this: nurse. quiet alert time. sleep (though sometimes the quiet alert or the sleep phase gets skipped). in the last week or so there has been some fussiness, especially in the evenings- which is apparently pretty common. the things that will usually get you to wind down are swaddling; being carried on your side in a football hold that only dad seems to be able to get right; white noise (usually the fan on the oven does the trick); dancing with mama; rocking in the rocking chair; sucking on a finger or as of yesterday, a pacifier; being worn; going for a walk; and if all else fails, nursing (even if it seems like you just ate!). mostly, it seems you just want to be held... which i'm trying to treasure (even if that means i get nothing done) because i can only imagine how quickly that will change. you're so sweet and i love the way you nuzzle into my neck when we dance.. your tiny little hands on my chest and arm.

during the day, you'll nap on the couch, in your moses basket or in the mamaroo. at night you sleep in the moses basket next to our bed, though we often will pull you into our bed, especially early in the morning. sometimes, you just want to be close to us! in those early dawn hours, when the 3 of us are snuggled in bed, those are the moments when i feel the most grateful for this little family that we have become.

you're so lucky to have many many friends and family that are already showering you with lots of love and support. in the last few weeks, we've had people make us food, buy us groceries, run errands for us, and offer their help in many other ways. it's quite a little community we have here, in addition to our amazing families and for that we are very thankful!!

looking back, i can't believe how much you've already changed! your cheeks are filling out, your eyes are open wider.. you seem to be keeping your thick head of dark hair though! most people think you look like your dad, but you also look a lot like me when i was a baby. you definitely have my long fingers and toes!

when i look at you i see so much hope and possibility. i wonder what you will become. i wonder how we can best support you to be whatever it is that you decide to be. i know we'll make mistakes. but we'll always do the best we can at any given moment. we'll always be there for you and we'll always love you will all of our hearts.

xoxo